Appreciating The Difficult People
When you’re dealing with a difficult person, you’re often entangled in strong emotions. The first thing to do is, with the person’s help in a face-to-face meeting, get at the precise causes of the difficulties. Try to remove yourself from your emotional entanglements. “Break down” what’s happening the way football coaches break down the plays of opposing teams studying game films. This breaking down is a collaborative process, and it should go like this: First, have the person describe the exact moments when you were having trouble with each other. It’s important to keep focused simply on the physical facts of those moments. What were the specific actions and words that triggered the emotions? When the person gives h/her side of the story then and only then can you give yours. Only when both of you are clear as to those moments and agree on what took place can you start to talk with each other about your feelings connected to those moments of physical action.
For instance, that person may contend you are not listening to what h/she says to you. Have the person describe the exact moment when you were not listening. Where were you? What was being said? Precisely, what gave that person that impression?
Source: http://www.free-info-dir.com/blog/
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