Forward Steps Self Improvement Blog

This guest post is brought to you by Chris Cade – and he needs your help! Please vote for him in the Next Top Spiritual Author competition by visiting http://www.ThinkWithoutTheBox.com – you’ll even get a free gift after you vote!

On Facebook and Twitter I often post quotes from various people about topics I’m interested in, or that I think other people would benefit from. Recently on Facebook, I posted the following quote:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves” – Carl Jung

Shortly thereafter, somebody sent me the following private message about that quote: Chris – I don’t understand, can you help please?

After typing almost a complete response, I realized it was long enough to be an article… and so I decided to do exactly that – turn my answer into an article. I hope you enjoy…:)

I hope I can help… but this is a deep understanding that really takes personal exploration to understand. The simple version is: As long as somebody else’s words or actions can upset us, then that means our own enjoyment of life is dependent upon other people. Our happiness is never our own, but rather, ‘belongs’ to the people who upset us.

In order to move past this difficulty, we must choose to become self-aware… even at the most difficult times. Therefore, every time we are upset by somebody else, it would help us to ask ourselves, “Why does this upset me?” And then when we have an answer, again ask “Why does that upset me?”

The intention is to discover the root cause of why that person’s behavior upsets us.

For example, if a partner leaves their cups around all the time, we might be upset. But why? Well we say “It’s disrespectful.” Is it really? Why do we believe it’s disrespectful? We might discover that it is what one of our parents did as a child. And then we may remember all the fights our parents had over the exact same issue.

By understanding that, we then see that the real reason we are upset by our current partner leaving the cups out has nothing to do with disrespect, but instead, it is a reminder of all the past arguments from our parents.

That’s a *very* brief and limited example… and I hope that you will discover your own answers through this exploration.

Just remember from now on – every time something upsets you – just pause and ask yourself why… because you’re usually not upset because of what’s happening in the present, but because of something that happened in the past.

Another example: Your partner comes home late. You’re upset and say they’re disrespectful. But when you feel your body, you notice you feel -scared- so you ask yourself why. What you discover is that somewhere inside you, there is a fear of being abandoned… and when they come home late, it makes you worry they might be leaving you. And maybe you discover that’s because as a child you never knew when one of your parents would come home, or perhaps your parents divorced, or perhaps one parent left for a regular routine trip and never came home (died, ran away, etc).

And so you discover that your partner coming home late upsets you not because it’s disrespectful, but because you have a fear of being abandoned.

This logic is true of ALL things which upset us.

It happens to varying degrees… some smaller than others. Sometimes it’s so minor we won’t even notice it, such as us being frustrated that a little child has stepped on our toes again. Or maybe it is a huge issue, one which has come up in a relationship (personal, or professional) many many times and is never resolved.

Whatever it is, if you want to experience more peace in your life, just be like a child again… remember to ask “Why?”

This guest post is brought to you by Chris Cade – and he needs your help! Please vote for him in the Next Top Spiritual Author competition by visiting http://www.ThinkWithoutTheBox.com – you’ll even get a free gift after you vote!

This is a guest post by my friend Angela Smith…

I believe that the four most important things to remember are love, gratitude, connectivity and purpose. And that the more we open up our hearts in gratitude, the greater connectivity we will feel.

I believe in love, that love is the power that moves us forward, transforming darkness into light. I believe that we are all one, that the pain we feel is the pain of our fragmented selves going through the birthing process, journeying to remember our soul connection. That the pain we feel is the pain brought about by holding on too tightly to what is familiar and safe, no matter how uncomfortable it may actually be for us ― the opposite of which is to surrender as we head towards the light and greater connectivity.

In truth we are all connected, it is as if we have forgotten, or that we don’t trust enough in the other (i.e. ourselves) forgetting the other are a mere reflection of our consciousness, reflecting back to us all that we are.

The reason we feel so alone is because this is where we place our attention, acting as if we are alone i.e. believing in an ‘us’ and ‘them’. When we change our operettas modem, then the loneliness and separation we choose to feel will disappear. If we think and believe that we are connected, we will indeed feel this connectivity. Simply starting by looking for proof of connectivity will heighten our awareness and bring it to our attention. A-lone-ness is a misbelieve, one that has held us captive for too long, stuck in thoughts of struggle and thoughts of I have to do it on my own.

Imagine for a moment all those people you think are against you, have offended you, or that have upset you. Now imagine that they too are equally just as offended or upset with you or with others. That’s a lot of conflicting emotion floating around, emotion that keeps us stuck in a-lone-ness. And wouldn’t we feel silly if we’d found out that at least one of those people wanted to support us, but didn’t know how to get through our barriers, that they too just wanted to feel the connection, the peace, that they too wanted rid of the pettiness, the smallness.

Imagine how different our lives will start to appear once we truly believe that we are connected, we will begin to treat others how we’d like to be treated ourselves. Many of you might say I do this already, but do we really? What about hidden resentments and expectations that lead to feelings of anger and frustration.

Treating others how we’d like to be treated means really opening up our hearts and allowing, allowing for the feeling of love to permeate our whole being until we do vibrate at the level of joy.

Perhaps a way to bring greater joy into our lives starts with the following exercise; starting with one situation that has often involved conflict is the best place to start. If you feel too vulnerable to face a particular person, how about connected in with your heart and finding one thing that you are grateful for in the other person. This opens up the connection and takes your focus off of what isn’t right, to what feels right for you. You will begin to feel and notice an inner feeling of harmony that wasn’t present before. How wonderful:)

(C) Angela Smith is a published author in the motivational arena, her work as a mentor and motivator is her passion. To impart wisdom and knowledge from experiences gleaned along the way. As a parent and mother to a eight year old son, she actively promotes a ‘positive way of being’ with children. Working and studying in the areas of communication, health and natural wellness, Angela attained a Bachelor of Arts degree completing papers in Psychology, Philosophy and Sociology. Passionate about life and seeing others fulfil their dreams, she encourages people to see their True Potential.

This is a Guest Post...

Getting out of the hospital after an operation to remove kidney stones was like a breath of fresh air. Yes, there was pain. Yes, there was karma clearing; and mostly, yes, I was glad to put it behind me. Beyond all of that, what actually happened was an extremely valuable lesson that I learned about the breath of fresh air that I so cherished.

My new book, The Story of Light, Through Heaven’s Gate, has a very interesting discussion about the light holding capacity of the molecules of the air, and of oxygen in particular. I have taught people to be aware of the contribution of the breath to raising their vibration on numerous occasions. I have, on these occasions, emphasized the value of consciously working with the nostrils, nasopharynx, bronchial tubes, and alveoli. Each piece of the respiratory tract contributes to the oxygenation of the body. To quote my book, “As oxygen readily assimilates light to become divine Oneness, it indeed carries the primary life force on the planet. Pranayama (yogic breathing) is essentially the b ringing of oxygen’s Oneness into the body.”

The great lesson that I learned during my hospital visit was just how significant and how immediate the respiratory tract is to the oxygenation of the body. There I was in the post-op area, about 15 minutes after recovering consciousness following the general anaesthetic that I was under. I was quite awake and conscious and definitely breathing. My breath was sometimes deep and full, and sometimes short and shallow. I was hooked up to the monitors that show heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, and most interestingly oxygen saturation.

The post-op duty nurse answered my question that they like to see at least 92% oxygen saturation. Here is what happened to impress me about the awesome power of the breath, actually two breaths to be exact. At one point, my breath was shallow enough that the monitor read 89% saturation. I then thought I had better start breathing better. My next two breaths, only two, were moderately long and deep. In those two breaths, my oxygen saturation went to 94%. In five breaths, it rose to 97%, and by the twelfth breath, I was at 99%.

This was scientific proof of just how important even a single breath can be to the well being of the body, and especially to the exposure to the divine light frequencies carried by the oxygen molecule. As much as I was awed by this clear demonstration of the value of the breath, the nurse casually confirmed this phenomenon as something she sees all the time. I am sure that that would be true for any post-op nurse.

As for me, I am still in awe enough to both write this article and make a more conscious effort to make longer, deeper breaths a habit.

©Roger Joyeux April 2010. Roger is the other half of angelsandancestors. com. Check Roger’s website, www.thestoryoflight.com for more info about his newest book. Roger also looks after the website and is available to help you with your website. Call 403-225-2016, email, or visit The Story of Light

Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: —
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.

I love those last words, “Environment is but his looking-glass”.

Recently I read or heard words to the effect that if you want to know your past then look at your current situation, and if you want to know your future then look at your present actions.

Your thoughts preclude actions that you take so it follows that if you change your thoughts then you will change your actions and therefore the things that you create for your own life. Your thoughts shape your reality.

Enjoy this free copy of James Allen’s book as well as an audio to accompany the text.

You can download it by clicking here – “As A Man Thinketh” by James Allen

This is a guest post…

Productivity is definitely one of a leader’s primary issues.  Leaders are almost always continuously seeking at how they could be more efficient in getting things accomplished.  That is why leaders want to get hold of leadership development training so they can become an expert in such competencies as delegation, problem solving and decision making.   Another skill that leaders generally struggle with is time management.  As a consequence, leaders take the traditional routine of: if I seek to get better in time management, I will enroll in a time management course.   

Most often than not, time management problems are generally not even time management problems, but goal clarification challenges.  Goal clarification challenges center around precisely what has got to get accomplished, what is the priority of things to get done, and exactly what it requires to get it accomplished.

Let’s consider an example pertaining to goals and priorities.  Why don’t we say you are so full you can’t take on something else on your plate.  Just about every waking minute you are greatly involved in some undertaking of making the effort to get everything done.  Now let’s say you go to a doctor and the physician says in order for you to sustain your well being you have to undertake some medical treatments every single day for the next 20 days and each treatment takes about 5 hours.  

Before the physician’s visit you could not undertake something else on your plate.  All of a sudden your priorities modify.  You now can make available time to do the treatments.  So what on earth happens to the other things that you “had” to accomplish before?  That stuff either is not going to get done or someone else does it which probably will mean that what they were initially executing is not going to get accomplished.

The first rule connected with time management is that there will invariably be things to carry out and everything will certainly not get accomplished.  Time management is about doing the most crucial stuff first.  If you actually are doing the most essential items first you understand precisely how to manage your time.  You’re probably wondering what if I don’t understand the best way to go about doing the most important thing in the most effective manner?  Well, this is a training situation on the matter not time management.  
 
Thus the very first thing you really want to do to manage your time is to decide exactly what has to get performed.  Generate a comprehensive list of each thing that has to get completed.  After that you have to determine what is the priority of items that have got to get accomplished.   This can be a collective choice of the group or you as the leader could make the decision.  Once you have established exactly what has to get completed and the order by which it is to get done, now you have to figure out precisely what it takes to get items completed.

This piece might be challenging because there might be a number of action steps that you have absolutely no concept how long it will require to complete. Furthermore, you really want to balance establishing a time frame which forces you to expand yourself and also at the very same time is attainable.  Perfecting this area happens through practice.   Set your targets and when you need to adjust, you change.

The very next time: “I really need to take a time management course”, remember the problem is most likely not a time management issue, but a goals clarification dilemma.  When you actually have your targets clear and know the top priority of those targets, time management will become simpler.