I was sent an email by a Forward Steps subscriber, asking about success.
Success is one of those words that sounds obvious until someone genuinely asks what it means.
Many people spend years pursuing success without ever pausing long enough to define it for themselves. They inherit definitions from parents, schools, advertising, social media, religion, culture or the expectations of friends.
They chase careers, possessions, titles, approval, recognition or financial milestones because those things have been presented as proof that they are “doing well”.
Yet many people eventually discover that achieving what they once desired does not automatically produce peace, meaning or fulfilment.
A person can accumulate wealth and still feel impoverished within. Another may live modestly and feel deeply successful because they wake each morning with purpose, integrity and inner freedom.
This is why this subscriber’s questions matter so much.
Part Of Their Email Read
What is the meaning of success? What IS success? Whom does success serve and whom does it belong to? What is the highest goal one can aim at?
To grow we define clearly what we want. But in a higher realm denomination by itself seems to limit the expanding of the comfort zone and therewith the waxing of free will.
My Brief Response
Those questions can only be answered by you, for yourself. Every person will have their own personal definition of success.
That includes who their success serves and what their highest aim might be. Yes, “To grow we define clearly what we want”. Then, each time we “grow” the “what we want” will change along with us.
This is why these questions need to be regularly revisited by every individual, or not.
Success Changes As We Change
There is a quiet danger in assuming that success is a fixed destination.
At twenty years old, success may mean independence.
At forty, it may mean stability.
At sixty, it may mean peace of mind.
At seventy, it may mean having lived in a way that allows you to sleep peacefully at night.
Our definitions evolve because we evolve.
Someone who once desperately wanted status may later crave simplicity.
Someone obsessed with achievement may later discover the deeper value of relationships, health, contribution or spiritual growth.
Life has a way of refining our ambitions through experience.
Many people pursue what impresses others without asking whether those things genuinely nourish their own spirit. Yet external rewards alone rarely satisfy for long. Human beings quickly adapt to possessions, promotions, applause and accomplishments. What once seemed extraordinary gradually becomes normal.
This may explain why some highly successful people still feel restless, anxious or empty.
When Success Stops Feeling Successful
Success that depends entirely upon external validation becomes fragile because it rests in the hands of others.
A more enduring form of success may come from alignment, living in harmony with one’s own conscience, values and deeper nature.
Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own. -Bruce Lee Share on XAs I suggest with all my content and in the words of Bruce Lee, “Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own”.
That advice applies perfectly to success.
Take wisdom from others.
Learn from mentors.
Study successful people.
Read widely.
Observe carefully.
Yet eventually, you must create your own definition rather than living inside somebody else’s.
For my response, the following poem could have provided a suitable answer too. I have come across it many times, yet had never shared it with you.
Thoughts When We Look In The Mirror
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.
That poem was written in (ref) 1934 by Dale Wimbrow. Peter Dale Wimbrow, usually known as Dale Wimbrow, (June 6, 1895 – 1954) was an American composer, radio artist and writer.
Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you've cheated the guy in the glass. -Dale Wimbrow Share on XMichael Jackson’s song in the video (at top of this post), might possibly have been inspired by this very poem. Jackson Brown too, had put the words of this poem into song.
The Mirror Tells The Truth
The enduring power of that poem comes from its simplicity.
Long after public applause fades, after careers end, after appearances change and after achievements lose their shine, people are still left alone with themselves.
That private relationship with one’s own conscience may be one of the truest measures of success.
A person may deceive others for years. They may create an image of confidence, importance or superiority. They may receive admiration from the outside world while privately carrying regret, bitterness, dishonesty or self contempt.
Yet eventually, silence has a way of confronting us.
The mirror becomes difficult to avoid.
This is perhaps why integrity matters so deeply.
Integrity is not merely about appearing good in public. It is about becoming someone you can respect in private. It is about reducing the distance between who you appear to be and who you actually are.
A Better Question Than “What Do I Want?”
Many people think success means acquiring more.
More money.
More attention.
More influence.
More possessions.
More recognition.
Yet perhaps a wiser question is:
“What must I become?”
External success without internal development can create imbalance.
A person may gain wealth and lose peace.
Gain fame and lose themselves.
Gain status and lose meaningful relationships.
Gain power and lose humility.
Success that damages the soul eventually becomes failure wearing expensive clothing.
Success that damages the soul eventually becomes failure wearing expensive clothing. Share on XOn the other hand, success rooted in growth, contribution, honesty, self respect and purpose tends to deepen over time rather than collapse under pressure.
This does not mean ambition is wrong.
There is nothing inherently noble about struggling unnecessarily, nor anything shameful about financial success, achievement or wanting a better life. Money can create opportunities, security, freedom, generosity and relief from stress.
Yet money is a tool, not an identity.
Unlock your free 6 Rules Of Success ebook here, as a gift
Likewise, accomplishments can enrich life, however they cannot fully define a human being’s worth.
Perhaps the highest goal one can aim at is not perfection, superiority or domination over others.
Perhaps it is becoming increasingly awake.
Increasingly honest.
Increasingly compassionate.
Increasingly free from needless fear.
Increasingly aligned with what matters most.
Success May Not Be A Destination At All
Success may instead be an ongoing process of becoming more fully yourself while contributing something meaningful through your presence, actions, work and relationships.
This is why definitions of success should be revisited throughout life.
The dreams that once motivated you may no longer fit who you have become.
Goals that once seemed essential may later appear shallow.
Values can mature.
Awareness can deepen.
Priorities can shift.
That is not failure.
That is growth.
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Hi, I'm Thea Westra at Forward Steps (forwardstepsblog.com)
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