“Move toward your desired lifestyle one new habit at a time. Consider how you got where you are today. In that very same way you can get to where you want to be. The time-line is up to you.” -Thea Westra
You’ve finally made the big decision and created a vision for the lifestyle that you desire. It’s grandiose, isn’t it?
When you close your eyes and visualize, you can see, hear, and feel in your imagination the financial abundance, a healthy relationship with your intimate partner, a healthy and fit body, the career that you love and a social life that’s fun and adventurous.
You’re overwhelmed with positive emotion and cannot wait to get started moving towards your dream.
Then, you open up your eyes, look around the room and wonder how it’s all going to happen. Your desired life compared to your current life seems so far apart and a lot of work. You think, “Where do I start? There’s so much to do”. What ends up happening is procrastination, or you taking action that doesn’t contribute to where you want to be.
I get it, really. Your vision is big – no it’s enormous – and you want it now. Yet where do you start?
Consider how you got where you are today. Let’s say, for example, you are a healthy person and recently completed a marathon race. Before you ran the marathon, an image of you running the race and completing it was held on the screen of your mind. You may have not been conscious of this, but nonetheless you knew exactly what you wanted: to finish the marathon.
However, holding the image of successfully completing a marathon was not enough. If that’s all you did, then the goal of finishing a marathon remains only as a thought. You needed to take certain types of consistent actions everyday to achieve your goal. Some of those actions may have been running every day, adopting a new eating lifestyle, working out at the gym, and becoming an early riser to fit the marathon training into your day.
It was a new lifestyle for you and something you’ve never done before, yet an action plan was in place to increase your chances of success.
The first month was hell: tired from waking up early and complete exhaustion from running everyday. However, you stuck with the plan and endured. At some point your training schedule, waking up early, and the new eating lifestyle became natural and “everyday”, as if it was always part of your life. When it came time to run the marathon, you were ready. It wasn’t a breeze – sore hamstring at mile 19 and having to walk a few miles – yet you completed your goal of finishing the marathon. Nice work!
How did you do this? Your vision of completing the marathon was the starting point, however what made the goal happen were the habits you created.
Human beings are habitual beings.
When you do something over and over again for a period of time, it becomes second nature to you. To train for a marathon, you start running one mile. Then, once you’re used to running and completing a mile, you increase the running distance to two or three miles.
Once that’s become easier, you increase the distance to six miles and you continue in this manner until the marathon is complete. If you miss a day of running and training, it even feels awkward and like the world is going to end if you don’t go for a run.
One new habit at a time will get you where you want to be. Share on XWhen it comes to your vision and desired lifestyle, you want to start by creating one new habit that will contribute and support your new desired lifestyle. Start small, as you do when you train for a marathon, and increase the habits and actions as your capacity grows.
I know many people have an ideal financial lifestyle. You want to be financially abundant, and so do I. Imagine the possibilities with financial abundance: giving fully to others through your business or career, creating a bigger impact in the world, having comforts and luxuries and helping millions of people in the world. Financial abundance helps facilitate those results.
So, where do you start? Anywhere. Somewhere other than what you currently do. However, preferably start with creating one new habit that moves you in the direction of financial abundance. If you’re not sure which habit to install, copy the habit from someone who already has what you want.
Maybe you realize that becoming an early riser will contribute to your financial abundance by giving you more time to work on a new business. Therefore, you form the habit of becoming an early riser to create more time in your life. You typically wake up at 7am every morning; therefore, the first week you create the habit of waking up at 6:30 AM; the next week you rise at 6AM; the third week you rise at 5:30 AM; and you continue in this manner until 5 AM is your default waking time every morning.
Once the early riser habit is successfully installed, you create a new habit that supports your financial abundance, which could be tracking every penny that comes as income and goes out as an expense. You continue the habit-forming-process with your entire vision and desired lifestyle. Soon enough, you will find yourself reflecting upon your vision statement and seeing that you are living the life of your dreams.
Habits are more powerful than goals. Habits that are aligned with your desired lifestyle act as support structures for sustaining that lifestyle. Goals are ideas that act as a map so you know where to go. If your focus is constantly on goals, then you’re chasing an illusive thought and it’s difficult to ever be satisfied or get what you want.
If don’t know where to begin, start by creating new habits Share on XWhen you have a vision that is big and you don’t know where to start, successful people start by creating new habits. Figure out which habits will lead to your desired lifestyle, from where you are to where you want to be. The journey to your new life will be imperfect, so do not expect everything to go your way. Yet what habits do are shape and mold your life according to those habits.
Your job is to figure the habits that contribute to your desired lifestyle and stick with them.
Simply remember and make use of the fact that good habits are the key to all success.
This article was generously contributed by (ad) Nick Pfennigwerth, who used to help small business owners connect with their heart and larger vision so that they can make a difference and a healthy profit. At Big Heart Small Business, Nick applied his buddhist, spiritual, zen teachings into growing an authentic, heart centered business without the hype and strong arm tactics. Nick has now moved on to other things.
Enjoy some follow up reading on this topic in (ad) The Power Of Habits book by Charles Duhigg.
How Do You Build A New Habit That Lasts?
A new habit can help you move towards the life you want, yet knowing where to begin isn't always easy. Answer these eight questions to identify the approach you tend to use when making a change in your everyday life. Choose the response that most closely reflects what you would actually do.
1. You want to read more regularly, yet your evenings tend to disappear in front of the television. What would you do first?
2. You've decided to take a daily walk, yet you keep forgetting until the day is nearly over. What's your best next move?
3. You've kept a new habit going for several days, then miss two days in a row. What would you do?
4. You want to spend less time checking your phone, especially when you're trying to concentrate. What would you try?
5. You want to practise a skill, yet the amount you need to learn feels overwhelming. How would you approach it?
6. You've made a plan to prepare healthier meals, yet unexpected commitments keep disrupting it. What would help?
7. You have maintained a useful new habit for a month, yet it no longer seems to be helping you reach your goal. What would you do?
8. You want a new habit to become part of your life for years, rather than just a few weeks. Which approach appeals to you most?
Please answer all eight questions before viewing your results.
The Small-Step Builder
You tend to make change manageable by breaking a larger ambition into actions you can realistically repeat. Rather than expecting yourself to transform overnight, you prefer to build confidence through achievable progress.
Your practical next step: Choose one habit that would improve your everyday life. Define the smallest useful version of it, such as five minutes of practice or a short walk. Make that your starting point, then increase the effort when it feels appropriate. Small actions are easier to fit into ordinary days.
Looking for fresh ideas to turn good intentions into everyday action? Explore all 365 Forward Steps Notes for practical tips, actions, challenges and questions to help you keep moving forward.
The Routine Designer
You tend to build habits by making them easier to remember and easier to carry out. You understand the value of having a reliable cue, preparing your surroundings and giving a new behaviour a regular place in your day.
Your practical next step: Attach one new habit to an activity you already do. For example, after making your morning tea, spend five minutes planning your day. Put anything you need in a visible, convenient place so that your environment helps remind you.
Want more useful prompts and small actions to weave into your daily routine? Visit all 365 Forward Steps Notes for a collection of practical ideas that can support your personal growth.
The Habit Troubleshooter
You tend to look for the reason a habit isn't working rather than simply blaming yourself for losing momentum. You are willing to examine obstacles, learn from setbacks and change the conditions that make progress difficult.
Your practical next step: When a habit slips, write down what happened just before you missed it. Was there a time problem, an inconvenient setup, an unrealistic expectation or an unexpected interruption? Choose one obstacle to address instead of trying to fix everything at once.
For more thought-provoking questions and practical ways to address everyday challenges, browse all 365 Forward Steps Notes and find ideas you can put to use in your own life.
The Flexible Habit Adapter
You tend to make habits work around real life instead of expecting life to follow a perfect plan. You are comfortable experimenting with different approaches and adjusting your routine when your needs or circumstances change.
Your practical next step: Create a regular version of your chosen habit and a smaller backup version for busy days. For example, plan a 20-minute walk when time allows and a five-minute walk when the day gets crowded. This gives you options without requiring you to abandon the habit whenever your schedule changes.
Need more inspiration for adapting your routines and finding your next useful action? Explore all 365 Forward Steps Notes for a wide range of ideas, challenges and questions to suit different stages of your journey.
Explore This Idea Further
Optional prompts to help you make the ideas your own.
I use AI as a thinking companion, not as a replacement for my own thinking. These prompts are simply another way to explore the ideas in this article and see how they might apply to your own life.
You don’t have to use AI to benefit from them. You can copy a prompt into a notebook, write about it in your journal, talk it through with someone you trust or simply sit with the question and see what comes up for you. If you do use ChatGPT or another AI tool, treat its responses as a starting point for your own thinking.
You remain the person who decides what is useful and right for your life.
How to use these prompts: Choose the one that appeals to you, copy the complete prompt and paste it into ChatGPT or another AI tool. You can answer its questions and continue the conversation as you go.
1. Apply This To My Life
Use this prompt when you want to connect the article’s ideas about building one new habit at a time with your own circumstances and goals.
I’ve just read the Forward Steps article “One New Habit At A Time Will Get You There.” Use that article as your primary source and help me work out how its ideas about building one new habit at a time could make a meaningful difference in my own life.
Ask me a few relevant questions about a habit I would like to develop, why it matters to me and what might make it difficult to maintain. Then help me apply the article’s message to my circumstances, including how I could make room for this habit in my existing routine and keep going without trying to change too much at once.
Give me thoughtful, practical guidance that fits my situation and stays grounded in the article. Build on my answers as we continue rather than giving me one large response and stopping.
2. Reflect More Deeply
Use this prompt when you want to examine how your existing habits shape your life and what you might learn from the article’s message.
I’ve just read the Forward Steps article “One New Habit At A Time Will Get You There.” Help me uncover what my current habits reveal about the direction my life is taking and whether those habits are supporting the lifestyle I want.
Use the Forward Steps article as your primary source. Guide me through a thoughtful conversation about the relationship between my vision for the future and the everyday actions that move me towards it. Help me consider whether I sometimes become overwhelmed by a big goal, put things off because I cannot see where to begin or expect too much change too quickly.
Ask me one or two useful questions at a time. Help me examine the habits I already have, what they contribute to my life and what might need to change. Explore the article’s message that consistent habits, rather than goals alone, help shape the life we live. Encourage me to consider new possibilities without judging myself or expecting a perfect journey. Build on my answers as we continue and keep our discussion grounded in the article’s actual message.
3. Turn It Into Action
Use this prompt when you are ready to choose one new habit and build a realistic plan to make it part of your everyday life.
I have a vision for the life I want, but I need a manageable way to move towards it. Help me choose one new habit that can make a practical difference, using the Forward Steps article “One New Habit At A Time Will Get You There” as your primary source.
First, ask me a few relevant questions about the lifestyle I want to create, the area I most want to improve and my existing daily routine. Help me identify one habit that would support that vision and is realistic for me to begin now.
Then help me turn it into a simple plan. Break the habit into a manageable first step and, where appropriate, suggest how I could gradually increase it as it becomes more familiar. Help me anticipate likely obstacles and decide how to continue if I miss a day or progress takes longer than expected.
Keep the plan focused on one new habit rather than giving me a long list of changes. Follow the article’s emphasis on consistent action, building habits over time and accepting that the journey will be imperfect. Work with my answers as we go and help me finish with one clear action I can take.
Tip: You don’t have to use all three. Start with the one that feels most useful to you right now.
Hi, I'm Thea Westra at Forward Steps (forwardstepsblog.com)
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