I first read “What You Say Matters” in the (ad) Living On Purpose ezine and have permission from Ken Keis, President & CEO of (ad) Consulting Resource Group International Inc., to post it here for you.
In many of my own writings I have emphasized similar points often enough, and Ken’s article just drove it home once more.
I do hope you’ll read it all and take this valuable advice on board, for your own life.
Do you listen to what you say out loud to yourself or others?
Did you know that science has now linked that every single word you speak will influence your outcomes and results?
By focusing on the words you use with yourself and others, everyday, is a different process from mere “positive thinking”.
Words are powerful; they constantly affect your environment.
Your life today reflects your previous words and thoughts.
I am writing this because I need this as much as anybody. Sometimes, when I truly believed I was focusing on success, the words I used were, in fact, manifesting negative results.
Here are examples of negative statements that people use, often without thinking, that can lead to unintended and unwanted results:
The printers always break down when I do a large print job with a deadline.
The chances of getting that deal are slim.
We’re just not ready for a lot of new business.
Our business is not that well known.
You can’t find any good employees these days.
All managers have hidden agendas.
I’m always underpaid for what I do.
I usually miss something.
I’ll never do that.
I can’t write that well.
I could never forgive that person.
I am always at odds with her/him.
We’ll never get along.
They never get it right.
I feel a headache coming on.
I am sicker than a dog.
Why can’t I do anything right?
That’s going to take forever to get done.
There are no good men out there.
There are no eligible women out there.
At this rate, this will take forever.
Break a leg.
I am just dying to go.
I love him to death.
That scared the life out of me.
My weight is too difficult to lose.
CRA/IRS is always difficult to deal with.
That will never happen.
Son, will you ever pay attention?!
You are constantly a disruption.
You can’t expect much from teenagers.
Notice some of the statements with italicized words and phrases like always, never, forever, any, all, constantly. These are known as absolutist statements, which should have no place in your speech. Your words reveal the truth of your thoughts, heart, and beliefs.
The energy attached to your words will manifest itself in your life and become your fence line.Click to tweet
Are you now aware that the seemingly harmless comments you have been uttering were not positive, and they were limiting not only your success, but also the success of all the individuals with whom you are in contact, from your family to your staff.
In high school, my Grade 10 English teacher told me I would never be successful and certainly never be a good writer. For years, I repeated that statement to myself and others to make it truth.
Yet, over the past years, I shifted my self-statements to affirm I have the ability to write well and quickly. I have now written over 4 million words of published content and four books. The fact is that I have always had the ability to write, but I chose to believe that I didn’t.
Recently an antipoverty group demonstrated in Vancouver, BC. This group voiced what is not being done, that no one can be trusted, and that no one accepts the homeless. But as a result of these words, they’re perpetuating the attitudes they’re stating out loud. They’re uttering negative, not positive, words and ideas. And through their words, they have taken their conflict to a level that has been alienating the entire city.
There are real consequences to the ideas you allow to fester in your mind.
Whether your words are about hatred, ignorance, gossip, or humor, your words influence you and those around you, including your children.
The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”, is false. Words are everything and they do carry meaning, and they can hurt.
The reality is that YOU are in charge of the words you utter. Take responsibility for your words.
Take these next action steps this week and keep living on purpose:
Pay attention to the words you utter; they create your reality.
Listen to whether your words are positive or negative.
Remember, even if you’re “just kidding,” your language is affecting your life. Are you happy with your current condition, results, or outcomes?
Think about what you’ve been saying that isn’t supportive of the life you want to live.
Find someone who’s willing to listen to what comes out of your mouth and hold you accountable; this will help you break the habit of negative words and thoughts.
Be aware that not everyone will support this “cleanup” approach. Some will disagree with the process, but it doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Stay the course!
Limit your interaction with negative people. Invest your time with individuals who will support you in this quest to purge your negative or unsupportive words.
To assist you in getting clearer about yourself and how you can bring confidence and self-awareness to this topic I am encouraging three tools to help you on this journey of self-management. The (ad) Personal Style Indicator, the (ad) Self-Worth Inventory and the (ad) Values Preference Indicator.
You can’t input negative subject matter from the Internet, social media, TV, video games, etc., and expect to have positive output in your life.
Remember your gifts and talents that will compel and motivate you. Everyone has them.
CRG has helped improve the lives of millions of people and increase the performance of thousands of organizations worldwide since 1979.
The following assessments will give you a holistic picture of your future:
Used with permission.
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