Having exceptional persuasion skills is one of the most essential abilities to possess in today’s fast-paced society. We need the support and cooperation of other people to help us in our goal setting efforts.
Subliminal persuasion is the way of getting another party to agree with you without outwardly doing so and without the other person noticing that you were trying to persuade him or her.
That’s the way life is played.
This is how the rest of the world operates.
This won’t be a surprise to you if you attempt to employ these effective strategies, in the future, if you haven’t already applied them in the past!
Here are those promised 21 persuasion tips to help you reach your goals…
1. Use the right words and inflections
You can subliminally persuade another person his or her own words, and via inflection, or the particular words we give emphasis to in a given statement. A simple sentence like “I can’t assure you that” can have a lot of meanings, depending on which word you have inflected. See the examples below.
I can’t assure you that. (Yet somebody else probably can)
I can’t assure you that. (No way that will happen)
I can’t assure you that. (Yet, if you’re lucky, you might get it)
I can’t assure you that. (Yet I can if it’s somebody else)
I can’t assure you that. (Maybe I can assure you something else)
Giving off what we mean via inflection is subtle. It will also help spare you from being overtly direct, especially if you’re the type who hates the thought of turning someone down.
Understanding which words to emphasize will save you from this awkward moment (yet you still get to have things go your way).
2. Know what they want and give it to them
Another way to subliminally persuade other people is to have them eventually agree with you without them noticing it (because they thought it was their idea). This is a rather tricky method of persuasion and not many people might agree with it. But, hey, it works!
When negotiating, repeat what the other person said and then show how you will be able to achieve what they want for them. Be consistent so you don’t run the risk of contradicting yourself. As long as you have what the other party needs, you hold an advantage.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you’re trying to sell used cars to a friend. After listening to the other person tell you what he or she is looking for in a used car, emphasize the items being sought in the vehicles you have in your roster. It will be difficult for the other party to say ‘no’ since you already have what he or she said he or she needed. This is what subliminal persuasion is; and when employed the right way, it works like a charm every time.
3. Associate with good or desirable things
Larry, 28, is an advertising manager for a large appliance company. Part of his job is to meet with clients left and right. However, Larry doesn’t always meet his clients in the office. In fact, he often meets with them in reputable restaurants. They eat, discuss the deal and at the end of the meeting, he foots the bill. No matter how expensive the meal is, Larry will pay for all of it (with the company’s money, of course).
It might not seem like an example of a subliminal persuasion technique, but that’s only to those who are not familiar with this business. What Larry used was actually the law of association.
He wanted his clients to feel good about this meeting. That explains the good restaurant, the good food and the footing of the bill. His clients will then associate their good experience with Larry and the company he works for.
Using the law of association is a very powerful covert method of persuasion. You, too, can harness the law of association to your own advantage. Always associate yourself with good things and others will see you in that light as well.
4. Be nice and friendly
Smile to brighten up the day. Make a sincere compliment to encourage and raise their spirits. Simple little things like these count a lot.
Make them feel that whenever they need support or just someone who can give them guidance, you’ll always be there to lend a hand. They would tend to be more receptive to people that they trust and respect.
If you want to ask your boss a favor, do everything you can to please him. Overdeliver and exceed his expectations. Soon, he will notice your efforts and can easily be receptive to your persuasion efforts.
5. Enter their world
You must understand the situation according to their point of view. Set aside your personal interests and focus on them.
Just pretend that if you are them, what would you do? What would be your suggestion? Then take the appropriate action that would be beneficial to them.
Copy them. Observe how they act, how they speak, and how they think. If they rub their hands while they talk to you, act like them. If they speak at a clear and slow pace, try to do the same thing. This is called mirroring.
In due time, the people you’re mirroring will subconsciously feel more comfortable with you. It’s as if they see themselves in you.
However, you must proceed with caution. Mirroring is different from mimicry. Do not let them be aware that you are copying them. They might interpret it as mockery and you’ll just get into hot water.
6. Consistency is the key
This persuasion technique rests on a person’s need to remain consistent with what he has said or promised.
In order to be accepted in society, people do their best to stick to their words. It’s a matter of honor and integrity.
The more a person values these concepts, the more he will stick to his word. You can easily use this to your advantage.
For example, if Senator A has recently announced his commitment to the environment, it would be a good time to solicit help for your eco-friendly organization.
After all, he has just said it himself. Backing out now would diminish his name.
7. Provide them with undeniable proof or evidence
Explain to them how your ideas or opinions could be the most effective methods to implement. Show them undeniable proof that you have the best product by way of testimonials, before and after scenarios, and detailed comparisons against your competitors.
Just make sure that all your claims are true and verifiable. Always maintain a good reputation.
8. Greed is gold
Let’s face it. People can be greedy sometimes. But when it comes to persuasion skills, greed is not something to frown upon; it’s something you use to get people right where you want them!
Are you selling lottery tickets? Appeal to people by regaling to them tales of what could be. Are you selling jewellery? Get people to buy them by way of compliments. Tell them how great the stones look on them and how they’ll be the envy of everyone else.
9. Use the word “because”
How often do we use the word “because” in a real sentence? In my opinion, we don’t use it often enough. Sure, we use it when writing letters, but do you have any idea how powerful this word is when used verbally in actual sentence?
When you’re trying to reason out the need for a second chance to your boss, for example, you don’t say “I deserve a second chance for all my hard work”. Instead, you say, “I deserve a second chance because I worked really hard on this project”.
That word alone gives you an air of maturity and credibility that will always work to your advantage.
10. Satisfy existing needs and wants
Being self-centered is basic human nature. People usually attend to their own concerns and well-being before attending to others’. If you can prove that your proposal will provide more advantages to them than to your own, then they will probably accept it.
If you could concentrate more on their interests, desires, needs, and expectations, then you would satisfy their cravings for attention. Moreover, it would show that you really care about them. Mutual trust and respect would be established.
This is the most important thing to remember when persuading anyone. No matter how close you are to becoming like them or how compelling your evidence is, if it does not satisfy the “What’s In It For Me?” test, your persuasion endeavors will not produce satisfactory results. Always bear in mind how they will benefit from your actions.
11. Have patience
Persuasion may not happen on your first try – or even the second, the third, or the fourth. There are times that a certain idea has to be pondered on and assessed more deeply and critically, that to be too aggressive in getting acceptance might only ruin chances of a good deal.
Effective persuasion requires skill, not annoying pushiness. If you are sensitive enough to know the symptoms of agreement or submission, you will be able to steer the conversation to a point where you have the opportunity to persuade.
If the other party doesn’t seem to be leaning toward your idea and his or her body language shows it, then you should know better to try at another time instead.
12. Stop yourself from rebutting too much
One of the greatest mistakes of persuasiveness is your penchant to answer back and rebut. We often try to pretend to listen to another person’s idea, which we do not really agree to, when in fact, what we are doing is preparing for a rebuttal to his or her statements.
No matter how discreet you try to be at this, the other party will eventually notice that you are zoned out and will do the same to you when it’s your turn to give your ideas.
What ensues is a discussion that has two levels: one that is verbal and obvious, and one that is based on underlying meanings and subliminal banter. You may be able to prove your point and so will the other person, but nobody really wins.
Nobody can successfully persuade if the conversation is just based on a subliminal battle. When you’re trying to sell something, this will be your deal killer. In a friendship, this is what will burn bridges. This habit is very undesirable. Try to stop yourself every time you feel inclined to do so.
13. Be passionate
To effectively persuade another person, you have to truly believe in what you are saying. Intellectual honesty and genuine concern for other people will give you that persuasive edge.
If you don’t feel passionate enough, the other party will notice it and will not be convinced. It’s not likely that you will be able to successfully sell an idea you have feel no passion about.
14. “Allow” others to persuade you
You can’t be effective at persuasion if you are not open to being persuaded also.
In a person-to-person setting, the other party is also seeking to win you over to his or her side.
15. Be generous with compliments
We all love to hear something nice about ourselves. So find something praise-worthy about the person in question. It doesn’t have to be too profound.
People feel good about hearing compliments, so try to express your delight more freely. However, don’t over do it because that might cause them to doubt your sincerity; and more importantly, don’t sound like a crazy stalker.
In order to persuade, you must be sincere. Aside from that, you also need to effectively communicate your emotions and thoughts. You can do this not just by saying the right things, but also by employing the proper assertive behavior and body language. Thus, if you want to improve your persuasion skills, don’t be a drag. Be open-minded and show it.
16. Be open to compromise
When you ask other people to do something for you, regardless how politely you ask, they will always ask “why.” More often than not, they will also be wondering how they will benefit from following you, though most wouldn’t say that out loud.
In order for you to influence people or persuade them to give their agreement, you have to be ready to justify the reason why what you want to happen should happen. After this, you should be prepared to negotiate and be open to compromise.
Some people confuse influence with bribery because both involve the offering of something to gain favor. However, it should be made clear that bribery always involves a payback or an offer, while influence can happen even without anything on the table. Influence can be based on good faith alone.
Not only do you need to be good at persuading people, you must, at least, have enough charisma to influence them without much effort. The key is to have people who will willingly listen to you and follow (sometimes without question or hesitation). You want to lead without having to coerce others to follow.
17. Importance of repetition
After watching a certain advertisement on television, notice how we find ourselves humming the ad’s catchy jingle even while we’re doing something else. That’s repetition in action. In fact, it operates on several levels.
Repetition is necessary to retain a certain piece of information to memory. For example, if you need to learn a certain poem, you keep repeating it to yourself, even in your sleep, so you could commit it to memory. This method is also needed to promote a better understanding of a certain idea or issue.
Repetition also breeds familiarity. The more often you reiterate the merits of your proposal, the more likely the other person will feel and think that what you’re saying is the one and only truth. There might be other brands in the industry, yet if your prospect is most familiar with yours because of your advertising strategies, then he is likely to buy what you are offering.
Of course, repetition should not be overdone as familiarity can also breed contempt, as the saying goes. If you bombard the buyer too much, you will appear desperate, your campaign will look forced, and your approach will seem irritating. You want to win the other person over to your side, not drive them away by being too pushy.
There is a method to successful repetition, and that is moderation. As with anything else in this world, too much is too much. If you start annoying others with your aggressiveness, you’re not likely to get any positive response, now or any time in the future.
18. Believe and convince yourself first
First, the attitude of persuasion comes from within. You have to believe and convince yourself that you can sell, and sell a lot!
You have to orient and tell yourself that you have the capacity to have the other person need what you’re offering.
If you cannot develop that sense of persuasion in yourself, then it would be very difficult to become a persuasive influencer.
You cannot sell something you do not know anything about. You have to know the details. Research and study. You have to know the most intricate details of what you’re offering because people are going to be asking a lot questions about it.
You have to know what you’re talking about. You have to persuade others into considering the point that you’re trying to make by citing facts, accepted truths and sources to show that your proposal is actually based on something relevant.
Now that you’re equipped with the attitude and knowledge, you can try overcoming that fear inside you to approach that other person to persuade that they need what you have.
19. Body language
Majority of human communication is done nonverbally, and people commonly respond and understand it very well, having said that we primarily did not have formal education on nonverbal language.
These include eye contact, hand gestures, pacing and the like to stress your words and statements.
For instance, if you’re trying to imply a very important point, you may point a finger up.
If you’re telling a story, pace a short distance citing you’re bringing them to a certain point.
You also have your eyes to help capture your audience. For example, some public speakers like to give piercing gazes to different parts of the crowd when talking about a certain issue.
If you want to have power over others, let your eyes do half of the talking for you. Practice your facial expressions in front of the mirror until you get used to the feeling.
20. Voice modulation
Persuaders and influencers use their voices as their main weapon. They change their tone and their volume depending on what kind of impression they want to leave with their audience.
If someone wants to intimidate other people, they would probably harden his voice and raise the volume a little bit more. On the other hand, if someone is looking for sympathy, they would probably soften their voice down to an almost whisper.
Treat your audience, no matter how great or small in number, as your utmost concern. They are the reason you are speaking, so feel for them as if your message and efforts will be in vain if you cannot convince them to your point of view.
You have to create a link between you and your audience to successfully deliver your message. This connection can be made through personal anecdotes, humor or asking them to respond.
The goal is to be able to create feelings between you and your audience where they will know that it matters to you that they listen. This will be the basis for a smooth flow in conversation and probably the key to persuasion.
The important thing is always go for the win-win resolution. If your persuasion skills are powerful enough (and even cunning enough), you’ll have no trouble winning people over.
Some like to call this influence; some argue this is foolery. However you might choose to view it, it is effective.
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