Many of us would like to have more self-trust.
It’s painful to question and doubt yourself and it keeps you from transforming your life.
Here are a few ideas that will help you increase your self-trust.
Behave like someone you would trust
In relationships, we have to earn the trust of people. Why should that be different with self-trust?
Let’s analyze what makes someone trustworthy.
What makes you trust people?
– Perhaps they’re honest and keep their promises.
– Maybe they’re competent and confident?
– Most of us trust people who are supportive of us.
Chances are, you don’t treat yourself like the people you trust and maybe you don’t behave according to your definition of “trustworthy”.
It’s not your fault.
Self-help books and personal coaching gurus influence us to reach for the stars. They tell us that anything is possible.
Then, when we reach for the stars and fall short of our target(s), the psychological effect is that we feel like a failure.
How can we fail at something simple such as losing 20 pounds when we were so sure that anything was possible?
Motivational speakers tell us that the sky is the limit. That’s frustrating when we lack the resources to buy/build a moon shuttle and instead, need to work two jobs to send our children to a good school.
I want you to do yourself a favor, listen to people who don’t just tell you to reach for the stars, they also teach you how to get there.
What say you? If I showed you a few doable steps, would you try them?
Broken promises destroy trust
Instead of “broken promises,” we can say goals not yet achieved. That’s what broken promises are. Broken promises destroy your self-trust.
Being honest with yourself means you don’t make promises you can’t or don’t want to keep.
New Year resolutions are a great example. You know you won’t stop smoking/drinking/junk food, go on a diet, learn two new languages and be nice to your mean grandma, all at the same time.
You’re just setting yourself up for failure.
Self-trust grows when we’re successful
They tell us we’re not going places because the goals we set are too small. I cannot entirely agree with that. At least as many or even more people, fail because they set their goals too high.
Try taking smaller steps
Small steps aren’t small at all. They add up to huge achievements because it’s less likely that you’ll break your smaller promises to self.
With every small promise you actually keep, the power of your “I will…” becomes stronger.
With every small promise you actually keep, the power of your “I will...”, becomes stronger. Share on XEach promise you keep increases your self-trust. Little successes are easy to achieve and they fuel your motivation.
For instance, maybe you’re postponing doing your taxes because it’s a painful, lengthy act. Instead of promising you’ll do it tomorrow, promise you will put all the folders you need on your desk. Just that. This is doable, right?
Download your FREE Believe In Yourself ebook
Instead of promising yourself to quit junk food for good, promise you will eat one healthy meal today. Step by step, you work towards your goal.
After a short while, you will begin to trust yourself again because you’ll know that when you say “I will”, you will.
Remember to celebrate your successes too!
Self-kindness increases your self-trust
If you’re like most people, you wouldn’t have a single friend if you’d treated your friends like you so often treat yourself…
– Negative self-talk
– Focusing on weaknesses
– Being unforgiving and mean
– Broken promises and lies
Tell me, how could you trust yourself when you’re mean to yourself?
Treating yourself more like a good friend will increase your self-trust.
Next time the negative voice in your head reminds you of your past failures, you could thank it and remind it of your past successes.
You could accept that you’re not perfect, just like you accept that the people you love are not perfect.
If you’re supportive of yourself by learning new skills and increasing your competence, you will also increase your self-trust.
Treating yourself fair by setting achievable goals, in the form of promises you won’t break, is another effective action.
Small actions beat big words.
That’s how you earn your trust.
If establishing your word as law is important to you, then you will enjoy reading my favorite chapter from a book by Stuart Wilde.
The mind is used to getting away with a lot of promises it never intends to keep. You tell yourself you’ll do this and that, and then you don’t.
How Strong Is Your Self-Trust?
8 questions. Discover how you naturally build and protect trust in yourself.
Realistic Self-Trust Builder
You understand that self-trust grows when you make promises to yourself that you can genuinely keep. You are naturally aware that setting unrealistic expectations can undermine confidence rather than create it.
Your strength is your practical approach. Your next step may be to trust yourself even more by choosing goals that stretch you without setting you up for disappointment.
If you would like to strengthen your belief in yourself even further, you may enjoy this free Believe In Yourself ebook — a simple gift to help you build greater confidence and self-belief.
Reliable Promise Keeper
Your sense of self-trust is closely connected to keeping your word. When you tell yourself you will do something, following through matters to you because consistency creates confidence.
Your strength is reliability. Just remember that self-trust does not require perfection. Sometimes the most trustworthy thing you can do is recognise that a promise needs to be changed rather than forcing yourself to keep an unrealistic one.
If you would like to strengthen your belief in yourself even further, you may enjoy this free Believe In Yourself ebook — a simple gift to help you build greater confidence and self-belief.
Kind Inner Coach
You understand that the way you speak to yourself has a powerful influence on self-trust. You are naturally drawn towards encouragement, forgiveness and treating yourself more like someone you genuinely care about.
Your strength is supportive self-talk. Your next step may be to combine that kindness with small promises that give you regular evidence that you can rely on yourself.
If you would like to strengthen your belief in yourself even further, you may enjoy this free Believe In Yourself ebook — a simple gift to help you build greater confidence and self-belief.
Small-Step Trust Builder
You naturally understand the power of small actions. Rather than depending on enormous goals or dramatic changes, you build confidence by doing manageable things and proving to yourself that you can follow through.
Your strength is consistency. Each small promise you keep becomes another piece of evidence that your word matters. Over time, those little successes can create remarkably strong self-trust.
If you would like to strengthen your belief in yourself even further, you may enjoy this free Believe In Yourself ebook — a simple gift to help you build greater confidence and self-belief.
Explore This Idea Further
Optional prompts to help you make the ideas your own.
I use AI as a thinking companion, not as a replacement for my own thinking. These prompts are simply another way to explore the ideas in this article and see how they might apply to your own life.
You don’t have to use AI to benefit from them. You can copy a prompt into a notebook, write about it in your journal, talk it through with someone you trust or simply sit with the question and see what comes up for you. If you do use ChatGPT or another AI tool, treat its responses as a starting point for your own thinking.
You remain the person who decides what is useful and right for your life.
How to use these prompts: Choose the one that appeals to you, copy the complete prompt and paste it into ChatGPT or another AI tool. You can answer its questions and continue the conversation as you go.
1. Apply This To My Life
Use this prompt when you want to understand how the article’s ideas about self trust could apply to you personally.
I’ve just read the Forward Steps article “Increase Your Self-Trust (Simple Hacks).” Use that article as your primary source and foundation for this conversation. Help me identify which of its ideas about building self trust are most relevant to my life right now.
Help me consider the promises I make to myself, whether they are realistic and achievable, how I respond when I fall short and how I could build greater trust in myself through small successes and supportive self talk.
Ask me a few thoughtful questions first if you need more information about my situation. Then help me understand how the article’s ideas could apply to me personally and give me practical guidance based on what I tell you.
Stay grounded in what the Forward Steps article actually teaches rather than replacing its message with generic self improvement advice. Build on my answers as we go and help me see how I could develop greater confidence in my ability to rely on myself.
2. Reflect More Deeply
Use this prompt when you want to discover what your relationship with yourself may reveal about your self trust.
I’ve just read the Forward Steps article “Increase Your Self-Trust (Simple Hacks).” Use that article as your primary source and foundation for our reflection. Help me explore my own relationship with self trust more deeply.
Guide me through a thoughtful conversation rather than giving me a long list of questions all at once. Help me reflect on the promises I make to myself, the expectations I place on myself, how I respond when I don’t follow through and the ways I may already have evidence that I can trust myself.
Ask useful questions and respond thoughtfully to my answers. Help me notice patterns, assumptions or possibilities I may not have considered, especially around whether I make commitments that are too large, how I talk to myself when I fall short and how small acts of following through may influence the way I see myself.
Keep the reflection encouraging and practical without becoming overly psychological or clinical. Stay grounded in what the Forward Steps article actually teaches and don’t replace its message with generic self improvement advice. Build on my answers as we go and help me discover an insight about my own self trust that I can genuinely use.
3. Turn It Into Action
Use this prompt when you want to turn the article’s ideas about self trust into one small change you can actually follow through on.
I’ve just read the Forward Steps article “Increase Your Self-Trust (Simple Hacks).” Use that article as your primary source and foundation for developing my next steps. Help me choose one small way I could strengthen my self trust through action.
First help me identify an area where I would benefit from trusting myself more. Ask me a few simple questions if you need more information. Then help me turn the article’s ideas into one realistic promise or commitment that I am genuinely willing and able to keep.
Help me make the commitment specific and achievable, with a simple way to follow through and recognise the success. If I don’t keep it perfectly, help me respond in the supportive way suggested by the article rather than treating one setback as proof that I cannot trust myself.
Keep the plan small and manageable rather than overwhelming me with too many steps. Stay grounded in what the Forward Steps article actually teaches and don’t replace its message with generic self improvement advice. Help me focus on progress rather than perfection and finish by giving me one clear action I can take today.
Tip: You don’t have to use all three. Start with the one that feels most useful to you right now.
Hi, I'm Thea Westra at Forward Steps (forwardstepsblog.com)
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